I can relate to this so much. I have a severe needle phobia as a result of autism plus extreme childhood trauma, and doctors used to give me a single dose benzo prescription of Ativan when I needed to do bloodwork and get vaccines. That all stopped, forever, the moment my history of opioid addiction made it into my medical record. Makes sense, opioid+benzo is likely to equal dead, right? Well, come covid I was several years clean, and still got denied any sort of sedatives.

I made it as clear to the doctor as possible that without heavy sedation, I would not be able to get the covid vaccine because in a sober state of mind I cannot control myself at all when someone is about to puncture my flesh with a needle. I will try to exit the room as fast as possible, and I will get violent if someone tries to stop me. Doctor wouldn't budge, somehow they came to the conclusion that taking a single dose of a benzo is more of a danger to me than catching fucking covid unvaccinated.

In the end, I had to buy illegal Xanax off the DNM. I showed up for my covid vaccine obviously barred the fuck out. Since then I've realized how perfect of a microcosm this situation was for how the war on drugs has severely hurt patient outcomes in situations calling for controlled substances. Do doctors not realize that denying people prescriptions doesn't mean their patients just give up on trying to source them? That it's possible that we'll just get it ourselves at the cost of using unregulated drugs that are far more dangerous? I hope to god they start to notice and factor this into their decision making soon. Shit's fucked out there.