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this post was submitted on 29 May 2024
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I cannot speak for anyone else, but I am an atheist and I do not believe in an afterlife, so I want every single second of life on this planet I can possibly get. I have had a lot of bad things in my life, including ongoing serious health problems. I have been to 10 on the pain scale multiple times. Dementia doesn't scare me. I understand why some people don't want to go out that way because it was the way my father went out, but he went out angry because he was an angry man and eventually didn't even know why he was angry. I certainly understand why Robin Williams chose to end his life because his mind was his gift to the world.
But I'm not like that. I want to be alive as long as I still know what life is.
I'm personally of the opinion that if I (consistently) can't remember the day before, life isn't worth living.
Doesn't matter if I'm happy every day. Because I feel like memories are what make me, me.
But if I can remember a whole week or even a month I'm not so sure anymore. In a week I could at least learn something and recall what I did yesterday and the day before that.
How do you define a life not worth living? Because I lost the genetic lottery in huge ways-
Does that mean reaching 10 on the pain scale every day for a few years due to a rare nerve disorder? Me.
Does that mean not having any solid food apart from a couple of bites with my mouth completely numbed since last August? Also me.
On top of that, I have type II bipolar disorder and no job.
A lot of people would say that life is not living, especially when it's this nerve disorder.
But I would say it is.
I defer to you on whether your particular life was worth living. The question is why you would want to live if your mind, your character and memories were gone — if you were a burden on those around you and could no longer engage in self-reflection or abstract reasoning. What would be the point?
Because that isn't what dementia necessarily is. My father recognized me when he was down to doing child-level jigsaw puzzles and even though he had a much more primitive mind, he was still him in essence, that wasn't gone. Not everything goes in every case.
Dementia is a spectrum of neuropathology, so you’ve effectively ignored my question. But ok, let’s go with your specific example. Why would you keep your father alive in such an undignified state? You’re describing him as playing with “child-level jigsaw puzzles,” meaning he's barely sentient and someone has to wipe his ass, which is a horrifying indignity. Literally my idea of hell. Are you punishing him? Are you punishing yourself?
Humans are supposed to transcend the mortal realm, so why this obsession with remaining alive even at the expense of everyone around you? I guess I’ll never get an answer.
Would I keep my father alive? No, because he's not me. I thought we were talking about what I would do with my own life.
And I gave you my answer- I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't want to end my life unless it has to end. It's not that you'll never get an answer, it's that you don't like the answer you were given.
WHY? That’s what I’m asking you. You haven’t even attempted to answer this question.
You haven’t given an answer, and my guess is you don’t have one. Perhaps the reason you would want to live, even with dementia, is a mystery to you. That’s fine, but just say so.
Because I enjoy living. I'm not sure why that needs to be made clear to you.
Yes, again, there is not one type of dementia. Why are you assuming I would only have the kind of dementia where I wasn't aware I was alive?
And no I wouldn't be a burden, I'd be in a nursing home as I have already told my family in the event of dementia.
I presume you've heard of insurance.
Here’s how your answer sounds to me:
“I would rather pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to waste people’s time wiping my ass long after I’ve lost my mind than help future generations and my loved ones by passing away at a moment of my choosing.”
So you haven't heard of insurance?
Ah, I see. Kill myself when I'm old to help the economy.
I think I've heard of that somewhere before...
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/texas-lt-gov-dan-patrick-suggests-he-other-seniors-willing-n1167341
Do explain how my wife and I not paying a small amount a month toward long-term care insurance will help save the rainforest. This should be interesting.
Yes, I have dementia because you think my wife and I not spending about $1000 a year on long-term care insurance would make a major impact in the world.
Look, I get that you really want me to commit suicide, but it isn't going to happen.
Insulting me is also not going to get me to commit suicide, sorry.
I told you exactly why I want to live: I enjoy life. The rest of that is just a lie.
Lying will also not get me to commit suicide.
Why are you so determined to get me to kill myself anyway? What did I do to you?