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this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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I have a friend with kids. I'm also an aunt. I think it's absolutely fantastic when people can be parents, but I also don't at all understand how anyone is capable of doing that shit. I'm more than capable of briefly watching and playing with kids for several hours at a time, but not caring for them 24/7 forever.
It's especially wild to me when parents basically explain to me that they are constantly legitimately going through extreme suffering in what you describe in your first paragraph.
But then they tell me how literally suffering 24/7 is somehow all worth it to them and it makes even less sense. I'm guessing there's some sort of hormonal thing going on to trick the brain into giving periodic happiness episodes in the middle of what sometimes seems to be flat out torture.
๐ Sounds very accurate to a normal parental experience indeed.
I don't know if it's necessarily hormonal. I mean... Everything brain related is, perhaps. I don't know about such things. But it's mostly for me about how beautiful it is to have such a purely innocent being put their full trust in you and love you unconditionally (whether by instinct or not). You get to have an extremely tight emotional bond with someone who is completely dependent on you, and that really sharpens your morals. It grows you the fk up. You start having a lot more empathy, even if you thought you had a lot of it before.
It just changes you, completely. Like, I've explained it now, in some pretty well-chosen few words, but there's still this explanatory gap here that will never be bridged by words, only through experience. It's... hard to explain. ๐
You even feel a little conned, sometimes. Always tired, annoyed, want to be alone, stuff like that. Then when the kids are away for a day or more, "I miss them". Like what the actual F. ๐คก Am I infested with brain parasites or am I a parent?