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this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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the_dunk_tank
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It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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If I see an ex in public, I'm instantly filled with dread. Best case scenario it's someone I don't want to talk to anymore and that tension will make any encounter uncomfortable. Worst case scenario they might go monkey if they see me with someone new or know a bunch of personal shit I don't want them gossiping with others about. Even if they're totally normal and fine with it, their new partner might not be and I face the same threats from them instead.
I would hate to be in the same org as an ex. There would never be a normal working dynamic between us and there would always be at least one person with motive and means to backstab me. If I don't go to the same roller rink or climbing gym as exes, there's no way in hell I'd do something politically radical around them.
You do you but not everybody's relationships crash and burn like that, most people I know can stay in at least a not immediately hostile relationship with their ex.
It's not hostility, just discomfort. I don't like extra layers to social interactions in general or personal exposure with my radical politics.
I have good exs and bad exs. If I see a bad ex at a good protest, usually that means they're a better person now, unless he was a really bad ex.
just saying, if any friend told me that just seeing an ex, any ex, was like a "oh shit man I better just get outta here this is gonna suck" kind of situation, I would have to assume that there's a social problem with that friend. it is normal to be able to interact like a friend or acquaintance with your ex, it is not normal to be unable to go to a climbing gym if you know that any of your exes might be there.
absolutely, sometimes you end up in a relationship with a real piece of shit and you can't interact with them. but by the time you're avoiding like 3+ different exes, I've gotta assume it's your fault
Even with civil endings to my relationships, those relationships ended for a reason. There's some fundamental incompatibility which is going to impact everything else. Several of my exes are bipolar and I don't know what their manic phases bring. Everyone I've dated in the past decade has previously dated someone abusive and that might be the person or type of person giving them a ride to the DSA meeting. That's all wholly unnecessary baggage which means infosec and opsec risk if you're doing something on the edge of legality. I'm avoiding them for the same reason I use a pseudonym here instead of my legal name and wear a mask at protests.
there's a fundamental romantic incompatibility between me and almost every friend I ever have had or ever will have (excluding the ones who became/become lovers at some point). being incompatible in a romantic relationship does not, in fact, necessarily impact non-romantic interactions.
do you treat everyone with a mental disorder the same way, or just the ones you banged at some point? because they have bipolar disorder you can't go to the same climbing gym as them? almost 5% of people have it my man, if more than 20 people regularly attend the place chances are you're going to run into one and, chances are, you'll never know.
did you cause them to date abusive people? i don't really see how that's relevant. anyone showing up to your dsa meeting might have an abusive boyfriend, not just your exes
Truly a bizzare thread