this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 171 points 2 years ago (9 children)

y'all

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 70 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Y'all doesn't get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Vosotros agrees.

[–] richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ustedes if you're less formal or you live outside Spain 😁

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago

if you're less formal

What a fun way to phrase that. You're not wrong but it's making me giggle.

[–] azimir@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Or in German: euch

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm under the impression that you pronounce it the same way this cat looks.

[–] azimir@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You know... that's about right.

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

[–] Resol@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I still wonder why English (a Germanic language) doesn't have its own pronoun for the plural 2nd person like German (euch) or Dutch (jullie), I think it kinda helps with distinction between talking to one person and talking to multiple people.

The problem is... what pronoun should we choose? I think "yinz" would sound kinda cool, but nobody outside of a very specific spot in the US actually uses it (other than myself I guess).

[–] sxan@midwest.social 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I agree. It's the plural of "you" that should be the official standard, since it disambiguates "you." It can even be broadened to include larger groups via "all y'all," as in, not just y'all in talking to, but all y'all in the house.

It can replace "guys", but not "man," though.

[–] jungle@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

The plural of you is yous or ye. In Ireland at least.

[–] MadBob@feddit.nl 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It sounds cringeworthy if you're not American though. The standard way of saying it is "you lot" and other dialects, like mine, have "yous".

[–] flicker@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Here where I'm from in the US, you occasionally hear a "y'alls" and now I'm going to start using it as a cultural gap between your dialect and mine.

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Where I’m from people just assume you’re a hick is you say y’all. It’s not very common in the northern, out Midwest of the US, but everywhere in the south.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's become the go-to in my company

[–] clif@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Do you work with me? I'm in the US south and my EU colleagues love "y'all" and have started using it (ironically or not :) pretty often.

Warms my heart.

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I have no hint of a Southern accent, but when I moved here "y'all" became almost an instant part of my vocabulary.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

A LOT of my company is remote, but we are headquartered in Providence Rhode Island.

[–] Purplexingg@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I can't do it, I don't want to sound like I'm from the South.

[–] Zitronensaft@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago

If everyone starts using it, it won’t sound southern any more. C’mon, you know you want to.

[–] hglman@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

Take it from them!

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

And, for larger groups, all y'all.

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

you'uns

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Youse if you’re a Geordie.

[–] BlueEther@no.lastname.nz 2 points 2 years ago

further down under you may hear "hey, yous lot..."

[–] survivalmachine@beehaw.org 2 points 2 years ago

Or if you're near Pittsburgh, "yinz" is the proper spelling/pronunciation.

[–] ieightpi@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I use y'all a lot and im near Chicago

[–] Cagi@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I've started using it and I'm Canadian.

[–] greenhorn@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've started using it and I'm north of Canada ... In Detroit

[–] azimir@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Did you know that you can be north of Canada ... in California?

https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-75f887668c7f322a0dd1a226e128cea3

[–] greenhorn@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago

At a more northern latitude than part of Canada. Detroit is directly north of part of Canada

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

What in the world. They need to fix that on the next patch.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 1 points 2 years ago

Me too, but I'm from 'round Minnesota so it's more like ja'll.

[–] Emma_Gold_Man@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

For those not in the US south and afraid of being judged, "all" on its own is an option.

"Hi all" is unlikely to raise any eyebrows

[–] MBM@lemmings.world 1 points 2 years ago

"Hi everybody!"

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Bingo. I use y'all for everything. Even the singular. It's casual, neutral and relaxed.

[–] Carighan@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Scott the Woz on Lemmy? :o

[–] cyborganism@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

"Hey y'all, Scott here."