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Capitalists be like (slrpnk.net)

submitted 9 months ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/memes@lemmy.ml

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[-] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Owner Class: “LOL screw that! Hey, Mushroom!”

Mushroom: “Yeah? What’s up?”

Owner Class: “Watch out! That White Tree is trying to steal your nutrients.”

Mushroom: “…”

Mushroom: (•ˋ _ ˊ•)

White Tree: “Whoa hang on there, fun guy. I’m not trying to steal your nutrients. I worked hard for these, I deserve my share.”

Mushroom: “Let’s fight, bitch!”

White Tree: “Them’s fighting words! You’re on!”

Scuffle Intensifies

Emperor Palpatine Owner Class: “Good. Good! Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.” Sticks a straw in the nutrients and starts sucking all of it.

[-] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Owner Class: "Hey everybody. We've had an excellent season this year, so we wanted to pay our success forward. Hold out your hands, we're gonna share our harvest!"

Mushroom and White Trees hold out their "hands".

Owner Class trickles a pittance of nutrients on Mushroom only.

White Trees: "... Wait, what?! How come Mushroom got this?"

Mushroom: "Yeah that's weird. Let's go ask Owner Class what happened!"

Owner Class: "WTF? That's so weird! Hey, Mushroom! What happened here? Why did you get some nutrients and White Trees didn't get any?!"

Mushroom: "Hey, I deserve this! I worked so hard this season, I have to eat, too!"

White Trees: "Give us some!"

Mushroom: "Make me!"

Scuffle Intensifies

Emperor Palpatine Owner Class: Laughs in Reaganomics

Sticks more straws into the nutrients and starts sucking.