this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
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Chapotraphouse
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Been driving myself to madness by contemplating the unreality of existence. Seriously. I feel so detached from myself and others. And in a way I kind of like it. I'm not sure if it's solely depression, navel-gazing, ego death, or what. Like I know I'm missing things in my life but I don't even really care. Been reading some good books and playing some fun games and hanging out with people more. But I dunno. I feel like I'm going through the motions whenever I do these things. I'm a body moving through space and nothing more.
Earlier this year after some stuff happened, I thought to myself that I had crossed an event horizon. And that feeling has not dissipated.