Stand over the person reading it and interject.

Consider the humble “em dash” — some people use it to interject a completely different sentence in the middle of another — the next time you’re trying to avoid parentheses.

Forget what everyone else said. Brackets.

You can, although probably should not, use semicolons; they can be used to join related statements that could, very frequently, also stand on their own.

Just introduce yourself to people as a 19th century German philosopher, they'll understand.