this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2026
677 points (99.0% liked)
196
7219 readers
2969 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Patriarchy hurts men too.
Famously, the first major legal win for feminism was a man getting custody of his child.
Its sad that so many men have swallowed the propaganda that feminism is somehow hurting them.
Patriarchy absolutely hurts men as well and I don't want to take away from your comment. I fully support it. And I fully support men revolting against the patriarchy and living how they want to live without the pressure to conform.
The first major legal win for feminism was about a mother being granted custody because before 1839, fathers were automatically granted custody of their children.
Source
My mistake, I was thinking of RBG in Weinberger v. Wiesenfeld
That is a perfect example of the patriarchy hurting men. Assuming men are the sole and primary earners in the family can lead to discriminatory decisions like this:
Thanks for bringing it up!!
Feminism is good, but I do not think it's right to fight for men's rights under this banner. It's simply too easy to hijack by reminding that feminism is, in principle, about women's rights (hence the name), and completely lose the part about men from the conversation. This happened before, and it will happen again.
It's very unfortunate that "men's rights activism" was also hijacked by patriarchal assholes who have nothing in common with actual men's rights. But masculism as a whole can be remedied, and can complement feminism organically as part of a broader antisexism movement.
So, ideally, we should agree on feminism being a movement for equality with focus on women's issues, masculism is the same but focusing on specific issues of men, and both uniting to bash patriarchals and fight for a better, more equal and just future.
Okay, but as a woman, it's a LOT better for everyone to understand feminism is FOR EVERYONE. Whether its in the name or not, the point is that everyone should have the same rights regardless of sex/gender.
I generally really hate movements that separate people by the very things the problem at hand separates people by. Like... No... People are people ffs - THAT, is what matters. Equality > Equity - its better in the long term and doesn't further segregate ideals.
Exactly. And for that we have a broader field of antisexism, comprised of feminism and masculism (and also fight against discrimination of nonbinary people - I'm not sure if it has an established name yet).
We don't need to cram men's rights issues into the movement that wasn't created with them in mind. We can have a more organized alternative, one that doesn't compete with feminism but organically adds to it in the broader antisexist perspective. This ensures everyone's voices are heard, and no conversation is skipped or hijacked.
And with a broader antisexism umbrella, it must be remembered that feminism and masculism are just two angles for the same problem, with a common end goal. Not to mention, gendered issues are also highly interconnected, requiring us to untangle them from all sides. It's worth supporting the antisexist goals as a whole, and then dip into specific problematic as needed.
Now, I know, the term "masculism" was often tainted by MRA activists, who have nothing to do with equality and promoted patriarchy. But in principle, masculism is simply about the fight against discrimination of men, same as feminism goes against discrimination of women. And just as there are TERFs on the side of feminists, there's unfortunately their counterpart in the form of MRA. Neither define feminism or masculism as a whole.
The amount of things created without everyone/everything in mind would be... A lot.
For a LONG time, feminism has meant more than what it was created for a VERY VERY long time ago. I concede its name doesn't do it's purposes justice... But again - my last paragraph in my initial reply.
You bring up non-binary people... And tbh that's part of my point. If we create movements that exclude, then... Well... That's exactly what will happen given any particular movement's success.
Chasing equality is harder. It takes more effort to push against existing inequalities than it takes to create equitable alternatives... But in the end it means breaking down all these differences people use to separate others and drive inequality in the first place.
My point is rather to make it so that people, any people of all genders, couldn't be excluded from the conversation. As things stand, men and nonbinary people can be easily excluded should the tides turn. This is a precarious position and can lead to the reversal of the achievements we've made to guarantee equality.
I don't mean to sepatate the fight for women's, men's and nonbinaries' rights, but rather recategorize it in a way that guarantees everyone's voice in the conversation.
What you mean by feminism, this inclusive one, is what I mean by antisexism. If anything, it's simply reframing the terms to make them adequately reflect the status quo and exclude possibility for malice.
If we frame it as antisexism, not feminism, no one could come and say "actually, it's feminism" and sideline all non-women from the conversation. When it's antisexism, it's about everyone. And that seems to be exactly what we want to share - to have a common goal of shared humanity.
And the rest are just categories. It's not about some people embracing feminism, others embracing masculism and third embracing...enbyism?, it's just categories within a larger antisexist thought, coming from the idea that people should unite to combat all forms of sexism, not just one particular flavor.
In other words, we seem to talk about much the same thing, I just want to frame it in a way that puts more confidence in that non-women voices will always be heard as well.
And in this way I fully, %100 agree. Not sure your original comment gets that across personally I guess.
I agree that "antisexism" may be a better way to frame it in a vacuum, and perhaps even in the future. But I also think that in the present it is much harder to get across than the difference between a feminist and feminazi that is already more culturally defined if you get what I mean?
Anyways, I honestly think at this point we agree and that this conversation has become pointless semantics. :P
Just like how the men’s rights movement has absolutely dogshit people, the feminist movements also have some who see the movement in a selfish supremacist manner.
This is why I call myself a humanist or egalitarian, I want it to be clear I see neither sex nor gender as superior, and everyone is deserving of dignity, rights, and respect.