this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2026
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Slop.
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You know Kash's reception is gonna be a banger
Coke fueled whisky binge watching the dancers, harassing everyone in sight. Someone is going to be puking before 10pm and ends up in a hospital for alcohol poisoning.
I give them 12-14 months.
He comes home from a long day at work and she's not even there. In fact - all her stuff is missing. What the fuck! He calls her. She says she's at a hotel and he should not use FBI agents to find out which one. She asks him a question.
"You know what today is?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"It's... I know... It's..."
"It's our anniversy! And you forgot!"
"No I didn't."
"You did!"
"I didn't. I was using code. They might be listening."
"Can you tell the truth about anything?"
"I've never lied to you, baby."
etc
Pete's gonna start crying about his kids to a very uncomfortable stripper
My friend tried ediibles for the first time as the groom due to anxiety, and greened out when his father in law gave the toast.
This would be even better.
never try something "for anxiety before a big life event" if it's the very first time!
I wonder famous musicians will play. I can't imagine what kind of music he likes.
KID ROCK
He's my go-to joke for the GOP but my first wild guess was maybe Kash has a weakness for shitty hip-hop.