this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/66811433

Transit Rule

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[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 68 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (9 children)
  • Speed of a Maglev train: ~ 300 km/h on average, ~ 600 km/h in testing

  • East-West width of country:

    • US: 4500km
    • Russia: 9000km
    • Germany: 640km
  • Average Times:

    • US: 4500 km / 300 km / h = 15 hours
    • Russia: 9000 / 300 = 30 hours
    • Germany: 640 / 300 = 2.1 hours

Max speed of 600 would be half those times, so a large European country could get it down to 1 hour, but I don't know anyone who stays horny that long.

If we give a max horniness window of 15 minutes, then we need trains to be 4x faster than their current max speed of 600, namely 2400 km/h, which is Mach 2. The sonic boom would be immense, but so would the size of her sploosh as you come just in time.

Edit: Interestingly, the UK's width of ~ 300 km, would allow for a horniness window of 30 minutes using current technology.

[–] RogueBanana@piefed.zip 40 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We need to invest more in public transport. One day we may achieve this noble goal.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Zoop@beehaw.org 1 points 3 days ago

Knowing humans, that's probably a goal that's a lot more likely to be invested in and met than better public transportation

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

okay but 15 minutes is kinda nuts, with the right stimulation I can be kept horny for at least an hour. If you were actively messaging the girl I bet you could maintain it for a maximum of two hours.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 10 points 3 days ago

Hey I know the cards I have and I play them to the best of my ability

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

It would be better to have her travel to you. Make time dilation work in your favor.

[–] DeLancre@piefed.social 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm not nearly educated enough to speak math, but I think acceleration/deceleration makes a big portion here. Train won't move 300-600km/h all the time. Plus onboarding/offboarding and delays should also be considered.

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 days ago (4 children)

What if the train moved at max speed at all times and people just jumped on and off.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] socsa@piefed.social 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So like a swarm of sperm swimming to an egg, only the strongest can survive the train exit and obtain their horny reward.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

When I woke up this morning, I didn't think I was going to read about train ejaculation theory but here we are! 😄

[–] socsa@piefed.social 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Always happy to help

[–] DeLancre@piefed.social 4 points 3 days ago

No-no, let him cook, he onto something.

Imagine how efficient it will be!

[–] atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

With enough laws, i have trust it can become as safe as airplanes

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

A series of trains parallel to each other at progressively higher speeds from one end of the line to the other, with door openings facing each other. You walk between trains to speed up and slow down. Walk on - walk off.

[–] BlaestEgnen@feddit.dk 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So you'd like for wagons to be destined for singular cities and other wagons clipping on by themselves?

That'd require a few extra locomotives, a mechanic to clip onto another set while moving and impeccable timing

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

in before Louis Wu and slidewalk math enters..

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

The tuck and roll. It worked for train hopping hobos of old. I'm sure it'll be fine.

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

But wait, for how long does prog stay in the blood? Assuming you take a dose equivalent to between luteal peak and follicular down?

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Progesterone. Legend says it can make a (t)girl horny. Scientists still haven’t figured out why.

i think the reason is pretty easily understood? cis women produce prog during pregnancy (hence the name) -> tries to bind to partner so they won't leave before the child is delivered -> higher inclination to cuddling and maybe more horny.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago

but I don’t know anyone who stays horny that long.

Does girl horny last less than guy horny? Because I can stay horny all day pretty much.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Cries in Canadian where the train service from my city to a city 400kms away is 9.5 hrs (literally double the time it takes to drive).

[–] notabot@piefed.social 1 points 2 days ago

You can halve the transit times by both of you travelling to a central location. It takes a bit more effort on the recipient's part, and you need to agree a rendezvous, but it's important that both parties show willing!

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 days ago

Not with British trains though hehe

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 0 points 2 days ago

15m is a pretty fucking <-> tight window. The last mile problem would be your biggest issue. Even if you could get from LAX to BWI instantly, you'd have to be less than 15 minutes combined from the pair of airports, or say have direct instant train service to her front door.