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some of us enjoy arguments because it's the best way to learn and grow.
you can't learn or grow without friction.
and yes, some people avoid friction as much as possible and view it negatively. they often feel the same way about physical exercise because they think it's nothing but pain.
There's a difference between:
It's usually pretty obvious which is happening. In the second case, there's no benefit to engaging with them, because their goal is not a discussion. Most often, they'll deliberately twist your words or "misunderstand" you to frame your words in the worst possible light, just to get one more reaction, or a bit more anger out of you. Like a leech that's hard to get off.
average people don't see that difference. they perceive any challenge to anything, including personal preferences of how they take their coffee, as a personal attack.
and in the second case, they also think you are doing that to them.