this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
76 points (97.5% liked)
196
6527 readers
710 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Then why have you said that what you want to do is quicker and easier than anything kinky?
Given how much of kink is given over to edging and prolonging sex (never mind the particular kink of being forced to have more and longer orgasms than is pleasurable), you're again showing your ignorance
I've never said it's the case for everyone. I've always said this was my preference. Not everyone likes kinky stuff. If we're going with the flavour analogy then if normal sex is vanilla, then what you're talking about is liquorice. Plenty of people love liquorice but just as many fucking hate it.
I've tried it, it's fine, but I'm not going to go ahead and buy a whole bag of liquorice candy because for my personal tastes, it isn't that great. You keep calling me ignorant for having a personal opinion about something I have experience in. Why? Why is it ignorant to say "I have tried a thing and based on my experience of it, I don't like it"?
It's fine if you like it. I'm not offended by other people liking it, I just don't like it myself. But don't go saying that everyone likes kinky stuff, because genuinely most people tolerate it for the benefit of a partner or like it occasionally for a bit of variety. I will tolerate it. I just don't want it. Just like I eat liquorice if it's offered to me.
If you want examples: I've had several partners who like to be tied/chained up, flogged, and one who liked me to cut her with a ceremonial dagger and drink her blood. It was all a mood killer for me. I also have absolutely no interest in having these things done to me. Its not ignorance, so stop saying that. You clearly don't understand what the word ignorance actually means.
If you offer someone a bacon sandwich and they say "no thanks I don't like meat" do you say " omg shut up you're so ignorant!"? What is your actual problem?
You commented on a thread specifically about kinky stuff, in order to say you don't like kinky stuff.
Then you said a bunch of things about kink that show a complete lack of both understanding and respect for others.
And it's my fault, apparently?
Normally I'd say you need to take the stick out of your arse, but in this context maybe you would benefit from having something inserted instead.
OP were talking about trans women all liking kinky stuff. As a trans woman I decided to raise my hand in opposition. You are the one who took a shit in it. I've not once said that my experience of kink is universal but, you assume if I don't like it I must be doing it wrong or something. I'm just explaining why I'm not into it.
Which is: I actually find power dynamics off-putting both in life and the bedroom. I don't like acting or roll play (this extends to larping). I find using specialist equipment to be a distraction and a hassle which doesn't add any enjoyment to the experience.
This doesn't stem from a lack of knowledge. It is 100% personal taste. It cannot, therefore, be ignorant.
Where did they say it was all trans women?
You saw someone having fun and decided to piss in their cornflakes, then made sweeping generalisations.
Not all kinky people role-play, it's not necessary to use rope, a wand, or a St. Andrew's Cross, it doesn't have to take so long that a quick bit of oral sex is definitely preferable, and equally isn't over so quickly that a slow bit of oral sex is definitely preferable.
OP made no claims against you, nor did they claim they were speaking about all trans women. I'll be honest, up until this reply I genuinely thought you were a man trying to talk down to women.
As a woman, I'm sure you're aware that a condescending tone is something to be stamped out when it's encountered in a place that should be a safe space.