this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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In the fictional future history of Futurama, sometime between now and the year 3000 was a time period called the Fifty-Year Squirts. It resulted in all the pine trees (and possibly other species) on Earth to be chopped down to manufacture toilet paper.
My suggestion to buy a thousand rolls of toilet paper as a minor crisis precaution looks smarter again.
bidet gang
Obviously otherwise those 1000 rolls won't last you 50 years.
Guarding my storage unit filled to the brim with toilet paper, waving my shotgun at the roving hordes with ass juice dripping down their legs, causing them to walk awkwardly and slow.