this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2026
31 points (86.0% liked)
Asklemmy
54720 readers
671 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 7 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
We are? Demi here, so ace adjacent. Ace and Demi have sex, itβs just not a primary motivator.
I am totally ignorant here, is there a difference between a low sex drive and asexuality? My expectation was that sex is not a primary motivator for someone with a low sex drive while someone who is asexual is not sex-motivated at all (like having sex is entirely treated as caring for someone else's needs).
I'm hoping this reads as sincere, I always worry about whether my phrasing will come across as rude whenever I'm this spectacularly out-of-touch.
It's perfectly okay to ask. I have questions about others I'm afraid to ask sometimes. It's fine.
I'm demisexual, which means I'm only really attracted to people I really know well (but not like, family, that would be weird and etc). So there's my wife and there's everyone else.
I have a pretty high sex drive, it's just not for just anyone. It's also not quite the same as monogamy. Maybe it partly is? Maybe monogamy can manifest as a symptom of demisexuality but both can exist on their own without the other? If it's a Venn diagram, I don't know where I fall. I think, in the middle, because while I was raised on traditional values and believe in honouring a marriage, I can also talk to women of all ages (much older, much younger, my age) and I don't feel attracted to them. Porn is like "that's nice and I can look but I don't want to interact with it."
I can't speak for those who are purely asexual.
I don't even have all the answers for demis.