this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2026
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Asklemmy
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It's perfectly okay to ask. I have questions about others I'm afraid to ask sometimes. It's fine.
I'm demisexual, which means I'm only really attracted to people I really know well (but not like, family, that would be weird and etc). So there's my wife and there's everyone else.
I have a pretty high sex drive, it's just not for just anyone. It's also not quite the same as monogamy. Maybe it partly is? Maybe monogamy can manifest as a symptom of demisexuality but both can exist on their own without the other? If it's a Venn diagram, I don't know where I fall. I think, in the middle, because while I was raised on traditional values and believe in honouring a marriage, I can also talk to women of all ages (much older, much younger, my age) and I don't feel attracted to them. Porn is like "that's nice and I can look but I don't want to interact with it."
I can't speak for those who are purely asexual.
I don't even have all the answers for demis.