this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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smart โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿค“ (media.piefed.social)
submitted 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) by Buage_@piefed.social to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
 
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[โ€“] lath@piefed.social 24 points 13 hours ago (6 children)

Loan was not approved. What now?

[โ€“] starchylemming@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

take out a smaller loan to bribe the person who appeoves the loans

[โ€“] Rothe@piefed.social 1 points 2 hours ago

Be a billionaire of course. This only works if you are rich.

[โ€“] notabot@piefed.social 37 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Set up a shell company. Set up a trust somewhere with no capital gain tax. Shift ownership of the shell to the trust. As the shell, come to an agreement in principal with the bank to buy it. Use this as colateral to raise a loan from the bank for the purchase amount. Transfer the debt to the bank as part of the merger with the shell company. The bank now basically owes itself to itself. Sell the combined company from the trust, thus avoiding capital gain tax.

[โ€“] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

come to an agreement in principal [sic] with the bank to buy it

I assume this would go as well as Gamestop trying to buy Ebay.

[โ€“] pez@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 hours ago

That was no typo. Gonna use that principal like a tauntaun.

[โ€“] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 9 points 13 hours ago

Brute force loan application: Keep trying random identities until one goes through.

[โ€“] ashenone@lemmy.ml 2 points 11 hours ago

Set the bank on fire and try the next one

[โ€“] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

pulls out minigun from payday 2

loan approved

๐Ÿ˜Ž