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Riker is ultimately one of the best possible examples of a character who doesn't make sense from a Watsonian point of view because he was used for Doylist purposes. Realistically, Riker should have either left for his own command or taken command of the Enterprise if they'd ended up going with killing Picard in the Borg arc. Instead, he stays on the show in his same job because he's a well-acted, charismatic fan-favorite who's also a military administrator with no technical specialty: in other words, he's the ideal audience-insert character to ask people like Geordi or Beverly to explain a complicated concept so they can have expository dialog for our benefit. For those who know Stargate SG-1, he's strikingly similar to Jack O'Neill, whose most common script function is to say "uh, can you try that again in English?" in conversations about archaeology or theoretical physics.
That said, they did do a decent job working with that in-universe. There's actually something compelling with having Riker's story arc play with the idea that sometimes a person can grow to regret their own ambition, discovering instead that they can actually grow more by putting down roots for a while than they would have by doing the most that they could. But it doesn't really work in the long run, and there's a reason he was always depicted as a Captain in every glimpse of the future.
He also serves as a great character to teach the audience the importance of Starfleet's command structure. He frequently shows his leadership skills in situations with those under him as well as his sense of duty to his captain above him. He's the model officer.
The whole back and forth with Deanna, like Picard and Beverly, always seemed formulaic to me - as if they thought they needed a "will they, won't they" subplot to keep people watching.
will they figure out a better dramatic trope next week? tune in next week to find out!
Before I got to your last paragraph I was gonna point out that they dedicated plot lines in several episodes to this exact thing. In Best of "The Best of Both Worlds" Admiral Hansen explicitly points out "this is the third time we've offered him a command" and Shelby is none too quiet about it either.
And you know what, it's totally believable. It's fine for fictional characters to be just as illogical, emotional, and inconsistent as people are in real life. It's also completely valid for Riker to say to himself and to others "You know what, this is a pretty good gig and one to be proud of. I'm the XO of the most advanced and prestigious ship in the Federation working with a great captain and crew, and I'm in no hurry to be promoted to captain just because it's what I'm 'supposed' to do".
I have always thought that part of his motivation for staying was that, in his view, Picard was such an amazing captain that not staying to learn from him would be a missed opportunity more than having his own command.
There is also any time Riker suggests a plan of action that may have made a situation worse, and the plot/crew went a different direction for the better. He's in a good spot.
I'm sorry, but that just happens to be how I feel about it. What do you think?
Ask me tomorrow.
I'm the end, he remained Commander and #1 until Nemesis for the same reason Harry Kim remained an ensign for the duration of Voyager : because he fit a particular dramatic niche that would have been lost if he had been promoted.
Haha I'm laughing to myself because I'm watching SG1 for the first time and yesterday it was the episode where O'Neil says his name is Kirk. Then he changes his mind and says Skywalker.