this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2026
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Install a bidet. They're 20 bucks, it's a spray nozzle on a hose, they're awesome. Saw them on holiday in Cambodia everywhere, installed one when I got home, have zero regrets.
Bidet is cool, but how do you dry your ass? Also, what to do when you miss and a stream of water takes shit away off your asshole to other places like clothes and other parts of your body
2 sheets of toilet paper.
It's hard to miss
It doesn't, it's still in the bowl.
It's easier than it might seem.
Too little.
Yes, but it happens
It does
I've been using this for a while, but then I realized that it wasn't convenient for me and I stopped pooping altogether
Not for me. But feel free to use more. I have 6 layered toiletpapier.
Never happened to me.
Are you Kim Yong Un? Because he works so hard, he burns everything so he never has to poop either.
We have a bidet and I still just reach over and soak TP a few times instead, just feels more thorough.
It's tough kid, but it's life? Don't forget to pack a wife?
Downvoters don't get the reference
I get called unc on the regular for exactly this kinda shit I swear😭
Sure, BUT, don't just connect it to the cold water supply - they need proper isolation - I've heard of cases where households have gotten really sick and they found that bacteria from the bum gun had made it back to the drinking water.
What? How would that even work? The nozzle gets dirty and the bacteria propagate three feet up the tube against occasional water flow and into the main pipe?
I'd imagine something like a guest bathroom that is rarely used so the bacteria have time to multiply and diffuse up the water pipe. Or develop a biofilm on the pipe walls that isn't removed by running water (to see this effect leave a dish of water out for a few days so it feels slimy then try to rinse it with water)
I don't think this is likely at all, but I could understand how it could come about in some niche situations.
Backflow preventers are a thing. I’d never considered it for a bidet but it makes sense.
You're not supposed to use them as a douche. You should spray it against your anus, not insert it.
Honestly, I don't know how that would work. When I spray, the nozzle doesn't get wet from ricochet. My hand, button and nozzle stay dry except for the tiny holes where the water comes out.
Douching master race. Moved and my bidet no longer has the necessary pressure for douching and I'm back to being the guy from OP's meme. Don't know about inserting anything anywhere tho, the right amount of water pressure, maybe with the right angles, and you're good to go.
Even then, I see no way for water to go back up the bidet line and contaminate stuff elsewhere. Its like expecting faucets to contaminate things upstream when you wash your hands, it kinda makes no sense, at least to me.
So many people from the third world do that here. Our right illegal for being unsanitary but they don't care.
How? Like, proper sanitation ought to take care of that.