this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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The sanctimonious films Hollywood will churn out will make the cultural output after 9/11 look tame
They're gonna give these marine massacres the same tempo as a 9/11 and school shooter movie
Summer 2027. Mark Wahlberg is Gunnery Sargent Horben "Boston" O'Dongfwulderssun. One family man defends an island against 144,000 persian cannibal terrorists to keep the fuel flowing so his 11 month old daughter can get a heart transplant back home, because without oil, American hospitals close.
Alone, outnumbered, outclassed, and oversexed, "Boston" fights off the worst of the worst and sacrifices himself while preserving the vital flow of resources for his family.
butter your popcorn for.... Khargistan: The Evil Army of Kharg Island
Hollywood is just remake the US Grenada invasion movie Heartbreak Ridge, but also still cast Clint Eastwood somehow. Either that or pretend it never happened like the Korean War