Ask Lemmy
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"What are you looking for in a relationship/partner" and "how do you feel about having children" are, like, the top two questions people (should) want to know on a first date. Framing them as "tests" rather than "basic stuff the people need to naturally agree on for a relationship to work" is rather gross.
I'd add general lifestyle/attitude towards money and saving, and political engagement in the "may get arrested for civil disobedience for a cause" sense.
I'm not sure either of those are first date material. 3rd or 4th sure, but 1st is just like "Are you a complete asshole or not, do we share any interests"
Fair. Different cultures, expectations, personal communication styles, degrees of bluntness.