this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2026
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Transfem
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I peed standing up. I had to go so bad. If I tried to go sitting down I would've peed myself. I thought the bathroom was empty and no one would notice but someone came in while I was peeing. I do take HRT and I've completely socially transitioned but even though I think I pass well people can still tell. I guess I don't pass that well. I don't think it's my voice, I've voice trained and my voice sounds fem enough that people on the phone can't tell. It has to be my appearance.
sounds like you're better off than you realize ... if your voice passes well enough that people on the phone gender you correctly, and you are passing some or a lot of the time, it's just a matter of making fine adjustments. I still recommend checking out the link I sent, there is another link in that comment with a bunch of recommendations on passing.
Obviously no pressure, just thinking out loud what people generally do - but some people post selfies or photos to get feedback on their appearance to help get feedback on whether they are passing and what to work on.
I know /r/transpassing is a place on Reddit people post, but I think it's also full of chasers and people describe the space as toxic (even though I mostly see the most upvoted comments are usually accurate and not rude or anything). I guess I wouldn't mind trying to give feedback if you DM me, but I'm no expert or anything. Not sure there is a space on Lemmy for this kind of thing - maybe some of the Matrix spaces would be safer to post selfies in? I regularly wish I could get honest feedback like that, but I'm too scared to post photos of myself on the internet, lol.
but yeah, I would recommend not peeing standing up in a public women's restroom. 😅 Sounds like bad luck that someone was there when you didn't realize, but this might just be a learning experience.
I could make a l/transpassing community if you want? I'd still probably recommend to post pictures nowhere, or using a throwaway account. If there were a site on where you couldn't screenshot nor copypaste, and the pics would expire in a customisable timeframe up to one day, that'd be golden.
You could also make the pics only visible on the Blåhaj community.
Or heck, maybe making a Lemmy instance that ONLY federates with the Blåhaj one, might help.
yeah, I think on Reddit a lot of times they make private communities for sharing photos - and Matrix probably has some private chat rooms that could work that way ... but I also agree that it would be best to have a platform that disables copying or screenshots (not that this is technically feasible, but you can still try to build features to make it difficult to do those) and has built-in expiration.
Either way, we're so far from having something like that, that I just as a policy don't share photos of myself :-(
I did actually encounter a few sites where you cannot copypaste, it was very weird. Screenshotting, not sure.
You'd also need to disable downloading. There are actually some scripts to disable both screenshotting and copypasting, so that's handy.
I think the safest way is:
a) throwaways are used,
b) if uploading an image, only a specific provider that satisfies all the following requirements, should be used:
bi. cannot copypaste
bii. cannot screenshot
biii. has a no-sharing with third parties policy
biv. auto-delete in a custom period, but always after 3 days
bv. the image has slight compression / a watermark
That would be a good method, methinks.
Since I don't know how to do 1 and 4 yet, I think just making a transpassing community and mandating throwaways, would help.
I don't think you could do this with lemmy or piefed - those would both make the images publicly available and easy to download. I don't know whether lemmy or piefed support private communities, but I haven't heard of such a feature so I assume not.
Regardless, the only way to prevent screenshots and downloads, etc. would be to avoid web-based solutions, i.e. you would need to create a custom app.
I know Signal has a feature like this where an image can only be viewed once, and I think it locks down the ability to download the image. Not sure if it prevents screenshots, though.
Either way, I really don't think the features you're describing are feasible without someone building a custom phone app.
But on phones, you can make screenshots, whenever and wherever, no?
nope, there are ways to develop phone apps that allows disabling screenshots. I've used phone apps that disabled screenshots.
Phones in general are much more locked down and easier to control. Desktop computers and the web are generally much more open and difficult to control.
That said, there's nothing stopping someone from taking a photo of their phone - there's no way to fully guarantee security, there are always workarounds.
Which ones disable screenshots and don't allow copypasting?
pretty sure my bank app disables screenshots for example
My CPAP machine app blocks screenshotting on my phone. I've never seen anything prevent screenshotting on desktop and blocking copy/paste is often circumvented easy by just looking at the source. But it would be enough to probably limit how many people do such.