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Have you ever loved somebody so much that you gave zero consideration to desiring anyone else, even in passing? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 days ago by tastemyglaive@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

If you still desired others it wasn't #truelove IMHO but I understand this has become controversial in some circles.

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[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Desire is a sexual thing. Loving someone is a commitment and investment thing.

I have been in love with my wife for decades and would never step out on her, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that really sexy chick at the beach..

So no, for me.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I think this is the closets answer to my view on this topic. To me desire and love are separate. You can desire other people. That is just sexual attraction. But love is being honest with your partner and not acting in any way that would betray that relationship with your partner.

[–] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Can't someone asexually desire someone else?

[–] IWW4@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Yes of course. That would just be freindship.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How would that work? Honest question. Is that like buying something and storing it away just so you one it and no one else can use it?

That doesnt feel like desire to me.

[–] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

To be honest too, I don't know. I just know that I love (or whichever word you assign meaning to) her a lot. I want her to be happy, but I don't want to have sex with her, nor do I want to have a formal romantic relationship with her.

I would like to emotionally, financially, or non-financially (like as simple as help pick up a parcel for example) contribute to her and ask for absolute no reciprocation.

If she eventually has a relationship with some one else, my heart would hurt a lot, but I would still be happy for her.

[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks for explaining it. I can understand it now but it still feels very foreign to me.

Kind of feels more parental than spousal. if i look at it like that it makes more sense. but im sure that is still not exactly how you picture it.

[–] racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml 1 points 12 hours ago

Thank you for your vocabulary too.😂 "Parental" is still off but not by a lot. I am far from old enough to be her dad, but a big brother I would accept the deal. "I do", haha.