this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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You have way more chances to get back at shitty customers doing food service.
Get a cunty customer and you just smile a little too large, be a little too eager to fix their issue and let your eyes glint just a little. Then fix their issue exactly what they asked for with nothing wrong with it and untampered with. When you return to the table put a little too much emphasis on "Enjoy" when you give it to them.
They will spend the entire meal trying to figure out what you did or call the manager over and make a big scene about how you did something but cant point out what. Ruin my night, I'll ruin yours.
Or you could also just actually fuck with their food ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
10+ years and I only ever did it to one person, but that racist piece of shit 100% deserved it.
Right so in the jumpscare genre you use psychological trick, and in the psych horror genre you use jumpscares on shoplifters and bad customers who can wait an extra minute for their help.
You don’t have to jump out on them, though. One time I had this guy SCREAMING about his order when there was a huge line and he was like #3, yeah? Well he was there for about an hour and while he was ranting at 300Db about how I never do my job yards yadda I had a colleague go get his fridge. He was waiting for that hour impatiently and I kept reassuring my team this would be worth the wait.
Anyhow he goes and gets someone to fetch their supervisor so I walk up once I’d been called.
WHERE IS MY ORDER IVE BEEN HERE FOR 2 HOURS‽‽
sir by my account, you’ve been leaning on it for the last 45 minutes. Your order is already completed in the system and the invoice is printed and on top of the box, do you need help loading it or finding anything else today?
He just screams like Tarzan and starts to push it outside. 5 minutes later quietly shows back up in my now-much-shorter line and sheepishly asks for help loading it.
TLDR: I also like to play ‘ruin my night, I ruin yours.’