this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
256 points (99.6% liked)
Not The Onion
19684 readers
1414 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I need to know what the pizza cutter was for
Gotta have a celebratory pizza after the heist.
The fact that Anderson said it was a weapon is even more hilarious, like he's some dollar store ninja ready to kill people with a pizza cutter, lmfao.
No. You dont want to know. The evils that men do with pizza cutters.
the horrors must be mostly imaginary because my pizza cutter can barely cut pizza, what is the bluntness the point.
The horrors are beyond imaginary.
It's probably just because he's Italian
The person worked at a pizza shop so multiple possible explanations
I'm sure by "pizza cutter" they mean a mezzaluna, so yes
That's basically what Pizza Hut uses rather than the wheel blades. Just a massive rocker knife.
I've never thought of using those for cutting pie, but I can see that it ought to work fairly well.
It's how you cut through the prison bars, obviously.
I was kind of imagining him trying to cut the link between handcuffs with it. Definitely the right tool for the job!
After breakout snack