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Well, I'll recommend Arcane as a show where nearly everyone wants war and pushes for war, and then regrets it and either changes their mind or dies.
However, I do think war has its place and is sometimes necessary. If we hadn't gone to war with the Nazis, the world would be a much worse place. I believe we should directly intervene in the Russian invasion of Ukraine and in the Israeli invasion of Palestine, on the side of the defending forces, while limiting our actions to purely military targets. I also think World War 3 has become nearly inevitable, and that it will be triggered by the invasion of Venezuela and Greenland, and that we should be prepared to support the defending forces so as to prevent the rampant spread of fascism.
I've already watched Arcane, and it indeed is a great show in how it displays each death as an immensely impactful event for each close character, making them feel anger and desperation, ultimately leading to regretful emotional decisions.
In regards to war being necessary, I partly agree: It only becomes necessary because one side finds it a worthy method to gain what they seek. The Nazi party decided that taking by force is a viable option, and they got support for it. This is what I hope to prevent in the first place. One example is the (initial) support Kremlin had to intervene in Ukraine with a military force. Another example is Trump taking Maduro; also a clear act of war. I'm honestly impressed by the world's reluctance to give military consequences, though I fear it's for the wrong reasons...
The people of the aggressor's side are the ones that would benefit the most from un-glorifying of conflict, and I will surely recommend people I know some of the great suggestions in this post.
The villifcation of war will not persuade those who are already out for blood, they're determined to have those wars. However, I fear it may drive our potential allies to passivity in the face of fascist expansion, making the fascists' jobs easier. I very much enjoy media that glorifies war for a just cause, such as Star Wars or Inglourious Basterds.
Everyone believes their cause is just. Every conflict ever can be framed as defensive. The US has compared every major conflict since WWII to stopping Hitler, even cases like Vietnam. My mother once quoted, "All that's necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing" in the context of supporting the invasion of Iraq.
If You investigate and deconstruct the concept of "defensive" wars (as You are so wont to deconstruct concepts) then You will find that they are entirely dependent on socially constructed ideas about "legitimacy." If Switzerland does not have "legitimate ownership" of Zurich, then to station troops there or to fight against Zurich being occupied by foreign powers would make Switzerland the aggressor. It could be argued that, when the US invaded Vietnam, it was merely "coming to the aid" of the Republic of Vietnam, which had requested our aid (nevermind that they were our puppet). Likewise, in Ukraine everything about how you view the conflict is dependent on who you think is legitimate - the "consensus" interpretation in the West is that the central government is legitimate and the separatists are just Russian puppets, while the pro-Russia view says that the separatists are legitimate and the central government just Western puppets.
So V.I. Lenin observes:
Funny enough, this observation was shared by Leo Tolstoy, the Christian Anarchist/Anarcho-Pacifist, who writes:
World War I is a prime example of how things can go wrong. There had been a major socialist movement at the time across every major country in Europe, and there had been a significant fear that, should the imperialist powers start a major war like that, it would lead to a coordinated revolution across all of Europe. But instead, when war broke out, the social democrats all found reasons to rally around the flags of their respective countries. They were committed to keeping their positions within the realm of acceptability, and the war narrowed that realm of acceptibility to the point that coordination with ordinary people of other countries (or genuine opposition to the war) was considered treasonous. So, all the social democrats of Europe rallied around their flags and drafted proles to go out and kill each other for no good reason.
If Your "anarcho-antirealist" stuff is supposed to have any merit at all, then it ought to allow You to recognize that the concept of "defense" is largely arbitrary - or are You seriously of the belief that national borders have some inherent natural truth when even the law of gravity does not?