this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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Having a family of your own is a pretty good goal to have in your life.
You will never be in a perfect condition or the perfect situation to start a family. Age, money, health, timing, partner. If only two of these are perfect, you’re already doing pretty well.
Living in the past and wanting to be a kid again is impossible. Accept your present, and live your life. Once you have your own kids, you can revisit everything you loved about your childhood with your own children.
Your depression will not end, if you want to be a child forever.
How do people just be "ready" to grow up?
Feels so difficult.
I feel like my mom really fucked up my development with all the intermittent emotional abuse. I still kinda feel like I'm just 18 not twenty-something
Nobody will be ever "completely" grown up, or "completely" free of problems. That's simply life.
The same of course applies to parents. Often I looked at the dumb shit my mum did while raising me, and I can't help but think "goddammit". Nowadays I can see it was simply lack of maturity from her part, coupled with a fair bit of stress.
On the main topic: raise kids when you feel you're ready for it. Perhaps next year, next decade, or when you're 50. Family pressure is normal, because being a [grand-]grandparent has all the perks of being a parent but none of the cons.