this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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Having a family of your own is a pretty good goal to have in your life.
You will never be in a perfect condition or the perfect situation to start a family. Age, money, health, timing, partner. If only two of these are perfect, you’re already doing pretty well.
Living in the past and wanting to be a kid again is impossible. Accept your present, and live your life. Once you have your own kids, you can revisit everything you loved about your childhood with your own children.
Your depression will not end, if you want to be a child forever.
IF it is something you genuinely want. I do know quite a few people who have children because it's "the default", which usually sucks for them and the children.
How do people just be "ready" to grow up?
Feels so difficult.
I feel like my mom really fucked up my development with all the intermittent emotional abuse. I still kinda feel like I'm just 18 not twenty-something
You don't be ready, you start doing it. Your 20s are the time you're supposed to suck at being an adult.
If you don't want a partner or kids now that's fine, but now is the time to map out your life plan. And be aware it can take a few years to find a partner that you want to marry and having kids may take time too.
Nobody will be ever "completely" grown up, or "completely" free of problems. That's simply life.
The same of course applies to parents. Often I looked at the dumb shit my mum did while raising me, and I can't help but think "goddammit". Nowadays I can see it was simply lack of maturity from her part, coupled with a fair bit of stress.
On the main topic: raise kids when you feel you're ready for it. Perhaps next year, next decade, or when you're 50. Family pressure is normal, because being a [grand-]grandparent has all the perks of being a parent but none of the cons.
I dunno. I just kept doing the same thing for years and years, and now I kind of feel like an adult.