this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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I don't care about small businesses I just wanna make that corporate money so me and my kinda distant and self interested husband can buy a penthouse.

I'm sure nothing will cause me to have a Christmas themed change of heart.

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 29 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Hey it's me your hometown country bumpkin ex boyfriend. I own that muffin shop by the way and the muffins are great.

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 14 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Hey, it's me, your less attractive but very funny best friend. Make sure to call me if your date goes poorly and you need surprisingly wise advice to get her back

[–] FishLake@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 5 hours ago

Don’t forget to speak with a southern drawl and use lots of southern aphorisms despite living squarely in the midwest.

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 22 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I don't care, I just want to make money at my corporate job and am going to shut down your shop.

You are kinda hunky though so I will agree to go sledding with you.

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 23 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Congratulations, Miss! As the mayor of Christmasville I'm honored to name you the winner of our annual sledding competition! Your prize is a romantic Christmas-themed dinner at a Christmas-themed restaurant for you and your +1. The perfect place for you to discover the meaning of Christmas.

[–] ConcreteHalloween@hexbear.net 19 points 6 hours ago

Well, I guess I'll take this hunky muffin shop owner since he has been so nice to me despite closing his shop down.