Chapotraphouse

Home Alone legacy sequel: McCauley Culkom plays an older Kevin McCallister who has struggled as an adult after being forgotten by his family and abandoned once again but this time it stuck. To mske ends me hes turned to burglary. Cause of his history he knows every trick to get past from security systems to paint cans on doors. Eventually he comes across a house on christmas where a kid like him was forgotten on Christmas and an inversion of the first happens. But this is just the beginning of act 2, dear reader, for there is a twist! A team up! They have a 'We're not so different, you and I" moment, Robbing the kid's parents fucking blind and during a subsequent montage of their following heists they meet a motley oceans 11 style crue of neglected children with Looney Tunes style defense systems, and they recruit them onto the team. You see the events of young Kevin's life spread to the news soon after, leading to more parenrs leaving their kids home and more kids creating elaborate traps, Kevin is a legend in the eyes of these children who were ironically neglected due to his perseverance leading to a more lax attitude towards child attendance. This contradiction comes to a head right before the big heist. Kevin is shattered. He wanders from home to home, stepping on marbles and being splattered with paint, hit by 2×4s and of course being hit in crotch by a loose floorboard, 'that old chestnut' thinks Kevin.

In a despair Kevin wanders the back alleys, looking in a drunken stupor for a poorly guarded suburban home, but alas he has taught these kids too well. But as the story would generally require earlier, he meets a scary old poor person! Just like the other movies! And who is this decrepit elderly who frightens Kevin in this revival? Of course, its Joe fucking Pesci! And he has seen better times even in his burglary days. He tells Kevin that while his being a modern day sun tzu for these rich neglected children who must now fend for themselves. He was always the best. And if anyone could beat these chumps at their own gsme, my gods on Olympus, it was Kevin 'Wil E' McCallister. With Pesci in tow he rounds up the gang, makes a borderline heartfelt apology and they get to work stringing together the most elaborate string of christmas time robberies upon upper class suburbia than could be imagined. These children left at home dont stand a chance and seeing all their worldly possessions in the hands of these bandits, much like the pirates of old, chose to join their motley crue. The film ends with Kevin. At the top of his empire but entirely alone, cause his crew are like 40 years younger at the oldest so a good amount of distance is best to shave the edge off an already steep crime. Fade to black