this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2025
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Oh man I hope I discovered an outlet. Self harm my entire fucking life with either hair pulling or anger rages.
And I like being smooth. Uh oh.
What's your method?
Editing this to articulate: yeah self harm is not cool. I've just struggled with it not glorifying.
I mean, I'm not encouraging self harm. But sugaring has been an excellent alternative to self harm for me.
I make my own, and it takes forfuckingever to get the recipe right, but I recommend just looking up sugar wax recipes on YouTube. You apply against the direction of growth (against the grain), and remove it in the direction of growth (with the grain). The exact opposite of traditional wax.
A couple tips I've learned:
Always shower first, dry completely, and then powder. I use corn starch.
You do not want to be in a super hot room (like a steamy bathroom after showering)
If you make your wax too hard, you can soften it slightly by putting it in the microwave for no more than 10 seconds. Be very careful, it is much hotter than you think. Your fingers and hands can handle much hotter temps than your legs and naughty bits.
If your wax is too thin, you can apply it to the skin, and then apply a piece of cotton or muslin, and use it like strip wax (again, in the opposite directions to standard wax). Unlike traditional wax, you can reuse these strips by just running them under hot water and allowing them to dry.
Traditional wax can only really go over an area once or twice, because it is pulling at healthy, living skin. Sugaring can over the same area as many times as you like, as it only sticks to the dry, dead skin and hair. It leaves healthy skin alone. Added perk is dead skin removal.
You can use the same piece of sugar as many times as you like. I generally toss it when it turns white.
If you're a guy or have particularly thick facial hairs (like hirsutism from PCOS or something), it will work on facial hair, but I find it best in that scenario to use a strip, but not with the thin sugar. Use the regular thickness sugar and add a strip. It grips the hairs better. Apply the sugar, apply the strip, hold your hand against it with firm pressure to make sure it attaches well, and then remove your hand and let it cool for 30 seconds to a minute, and then rip it off and meet your God.
Making the sugar is not complicated. It's just sugar, water, lemon juice. It's basically caramel, but it's all about temperature control. Get a candy thermometer. You can buy it premade, but it's not as good..
The coolest part is that a failed batch of sugar nets you either a thin caramel syrup, or rock candy.
Edit:
Forgot the most important bit:
Wait about 24 hours, and then make sure you exfoliate the shit out whatever body parts you sugared. Chemical exfoliates are great, like salicylic acid, but you need to also use something rough and manually exfoliate as well. That's how to prevent the ingrown hairs.
You seem to know your stuff. One might even say that you are ... harmacurious
Ha!
Dude. I’ve never self harmed but I HATE shaving. My waxer that I’ve gone to for almost 20 years retired recently and I’ve just let it all go. This information is mind blowing. THANK YOU.
I can only compare it to waxing a little bit. I got part of my arm and that little patch between my eyebrows waxed once, and it hurt like a sumbitch, not in a good way. Lol. The sugaring doesn't really hurt at all, despite hitting that same mechanism in my brain as SI. And your skin is sooooo soft and smooth afterwards
Since this topic came up another weird substitute for SIB is consuming spicy food. Does not have to be a lot. Maybe give that one a go.