90
Check out this pecan pie i made | Trans Megathread for the Week 2025-12-01 to 2025-12-07
(hexbear.net)
Link to the recipe, it's vegan 
Join our public Matrix server!
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
spoiler
___
It's been a while since I've posted here. Not necessarily looking for encouragement or responses, just needing to feel heard.
dysphoria, mental health, relationships
I'm closeted and in a relationship that I'm happy in besides my gender identity. I tried to work through that last year, but I was given an ultimatum: transition and divorce or stay together. I thought I could push these feelings down. For a while, I could.But lately everything feels out of control. Especially painful is my extremely transphobic in-laws saying I would have made a cute girl. That comment on its own has been tearing me apart the past week, along with seasonal depression that already brings out the worst in me. I was feeling really present a few months ago, like maybe things were turning around and I was not trans after all.
I've had a lot of time to think about what coming out would look like. The only thing I can't handle is what feels like betraying my significant other. At the height of it, they said they would probably stay single forever, and I know it would ruin them financially and emotionally.
The quiet moments I have with you all and the brief glimpses of gender affirmation when creating a character are holding me together. Hope you all have a good week ๐
You are not betraying anyone. You are simply trans. That has nothing to do with betraying others. Embracing this means you're outgrowing them and their expectations they need to accept you as a partner. It seems like you aren't doing anything wrong.
If they feel marooned by you outgrowing them, that's to do with themselves and their own sexual preferences, not you. That's for them to sort out. In the meantime, maybe you could focus on sorting your gender stuff out. Two different plates belonging to two different people.
Actually, I don't see betrayal in any of this. Sounds to me like you've both outgrown the dynamic that's required to keep seeing each other. I wish you smoothness in this new chapter of your life.
Thank you for this clear eyed response ๐ Unfortunately, we are at a stage where breaking up will be very costly in several ways, but that would not be my choice. That doesn't make what you said any less true. Navigating it will be the most challenging part of all. As I mentioned in another reply, it would probably be the most selfless for me to be honest and let their response be what it will be: out of my control.