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Check out this pecan pie i made | Trans Megathread for the Week 2025-12-01 to 2025-12-07
(hexbear.net)
Link to the recipe, it's vegan 
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spoiler
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It's been a while since I've posted here. Not necessarily looking for encouragement or responses, just needing to feel heard.
dysphoria, mental health, relationships
I'm closeted and in a relationship that I'm happy in besides my gender identity. I tried to work through that last year, but I was given an ultimatum: transition and divorce or stay together. I thought I could push these feelings down. For a while, I could.But lately everything feels out of control. Especially painful is my extremely transphobic in-laws saying I would have made a cute girl. That comment on its own has been tearing me apart the past week, along with seasonal depression that already brings out the worst in me. I was feeling really present a few months ago, like maybe things were turning around and I was not trans after all.
I've had a lot of time to think about what coming out would look like. The only thing I can't handle is what feels like betraying my significant other. At the height of it, they said they would probably stay single forever, and I know it would ruin them financially and emotionally.
The quiet moments I have with you all and the brief glimpses of gender affirmation when creating a character are holding me together. Hope you all have a good week ๐
spoiler
I cannot give you advice on this, but staying together with someone that does not accept who you are is not going to work. You have to figure yourself out, if you really are trans, stop pushing it down, it will only harm you. And if being yourself is a deal-breaker, then, by all means, break the deal.Oh, but it does not have to end in a fight, if the problem is just a loss of interest in a relationship, and you can manage being friends, then that also works.
spoiler
You're obviously right. I have always had trouble setting boundaries and standing up for myself, and this asks so much of me that I start to doubt whether it's really worth it. Putting it so plainly as you have is helpful. I'm very much wrapped up in their response and my feeling responsible for it, but how they respond is outside of my control.If anything, it is probably the most selfish for me to hold them in a relationship where they will never really have full access to me.