this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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I Didn’t Have Eggs
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People making changes to recipes and then complaining it didn’t turn out.
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This has to be bait, "no gmo gluten free vegans"?!
C'moooooon
My ex's Mom is a vegetarian (who also doesn't believe in using GMOs or a microwave) and her Dad has celiac and legitimately can't do gluten.
I hate trying to cook for them, and I REALLY hate it when they cook for me. Her Dad made these "dessert" balls that are made from flax seed and sadness the first time we met and I pretended to like them to be polite. Now he always makes me a bunch of them and I have to choke them down with a smile. I'll bee seeing them Friday and know I get to look forward to chomping on birdseed.
Why do you keep that lie up?
Because he's a very sweet man and really enjoys sharing them with me. I'm not gonna take that away from him.
Flaxseed and sadness is a step up from cyanide and happiness
Is it though?
i use a lot of flaxseed and have experienced the "ah shit too much flax" very often
flaxseed-based dessert should be an internationally recognized war crime
If they're your ex's parents, I'd have thought you'd be rid of them and their terrible cooking.
We're still best friends. Just no longer romantically attached.
We're Ace, so it's less of a transition than for most couples.
Then you have people from the opposite end of the spectrum. One time I received "protein cookies" from a friend and it was just baked chocolate whey protein powder 🤣. You'd expect something like that to work okay-ish, but it was a very, very sad cookie with way too much sweetener.
I don't know how to cook for shit (I once set pasta on fire) but I feel like even my dumbass could figure out how to make that work. Motherfucker needs to refine their recipe.
🤣. Htf does pasta even catch fire? There's usually moisture at all times.
Well I will say that the cookies were safe to eat at least. I think they are in the process of making it work atm.
I managed to boil the water down a tad bit too much cause they weren't softening, some of them were stuck to the side of the pot and caught fire. From there it was a simple matter of energy burnoff.
Please tell me that you were drunk out of your mind, lol.
In our old office we had a stove in the break room. A coworker managed to forget she was boiling eggs and smoke out the building 3 times in 4 months.
We finally bought her a gimmicky egg cooker that would turn itself off.
Close I was running on 4 hours of sleep and had been awake for about 2 days.
😯
Yeah that's generally the face folks make when I tell them that story. Highschool was a bitch to me since my wake period is generally from 8 PM to about 12 PM, so I was usually already winding down by the time school started.
Damn that's rough having a circadian rhyme like that.
The closest I'd get to understanding that would be that I recently found out that I have sleep apnea severe enough to eventually kill me that was untreated most of my life. You wouldn't expect it by looking at me because I look like a twink but there's apparently a neurological version of the issue that skinny ppl can suffer from.
Fuck hope ya can correct your issues. Mine sucks but isn't generally life threatening.
Ah, you too, eh?
Yeah I recently received an ASV.
When I said mine sucks I was making a joke about my piss poor sleep pattern. Though given the autism and C-PTSD I may as well have a sleep disorder.
Ah. Are you former military or something? Sleep is still kind of a mystery to science.
I hope that you continue to understand wtf was causing such an abnormal schedule because based on your messages, it sounds insane.
I've never been able to stay awake for 48 hours. The 24 hour mark, even at my youngest, is GG.
Aint military C-PTSD is associated with childhood abuses, I ain't breaking that mold to say the least. I've gotten it corrected for as much as possible without just going full murderous retribution so it's all good.
Also it's naturally pretty bad according to my kin I was annoying child because of how I'd naturally drop into being awake when everyone else was asleep, so that's always been a problem. The being awake for way too long issue is because of autism stubbornness and how certain noises can awaken me automatically probably due to the C-PTSD.
Also the reply says the recipe is for an egg custard tart. Why would a vegan even be looking at a recipe like that?
My wife was gluten free for awhile for health reasons on doctors orders. She would try to make the most outrageous gluten free versions of food because she missed them, but they were always terrible. I kept telling her, instead of making a bad version of a good food, make healthy food taste good.
Yep. For instance, making a vegan version of a non vegan food can turn out disappointing. But a food that is just vegan to start with? Delicious.
Yup. Lots of delicious foods just so happen to be vegan
Tomato sauce on pasta - delicious!
Vegan imitation version of beef - bleh.
The benefit of the doubt would be that they liked custard tarts before going vegan and wanted to try and make a vegan version?
Then wouldn't you search for "vegan egg tart"?
Could be stupid, could be someone who was told "honestly vegan recipes are often bad just look up a recipe and swap the egg for banana/pumpkin/applesauce and it'll be fine." which... usually yes, as egg is there as binder and not there as like.. the whole point of the dish.
Yeah, I suppose it could work when there's just a little bit of egg and you just need binding and moisture, so something like pancakes or muffins.
Whoa!
True. You are more charitable than I am.
I'm a vegan of 4.5+ years.
I've looked online many a time for vegan alternatives to recipes. Some are good. Some are shit.
I've learned that if you still want to make good food as a vegan, sometimes that involves learning substitution "tricks" that can be used to turn a non-vegan dish into a vegan one.
For eggs, I've mostly heard that you can replace those with soaked chia or flax seeds. You use the pectin that dissolves out of the seeds as the binder.
I have also seen people only claim that apply sauce or bananas are good vegan substitutes for egg. I haven't really tried that out before in it's own, but I imagine that the combo of ( soaked chia/flax seed + banana/apple sauce ) is what emulates eggs the most. You get the binding power from the seeds, with the wet nature from the banana or apply sauce.
FYI, vegans look for ways to "veganize" dishes all the time, especially at restaurants. Seldom do I want to take my friends or family to vegan-only restaurants because they tend to have "fat vegan" food. I'm better off enjoying a meal with them at a vegetarian/omnivore restaurant, which may or may not have vegan options. You have to learn to make substitutes on the fly to maintain your practice.
Just my 2¢
Oh sure, I totally get that. I’ve used flax seed and applesauce in baking recipes before because I didn’t have an egg or whatever. But in this case I’m a little baffled because I liken it to a a vegetarian trying to find substitutes for a steak. (Which, yeah, I suppose scientists are trying to do just that.) When you’re substituting an ingredient that is performing a function, like a binder, that makes a bit more sense to me. But when it’s a key flavor ingredient in a dish, I don’t really get why one would bother, or at least they shouldn’t be surprised if a substitution didn’t work and it shouldn’t reflect badly on the original recipe. All that being said, I also respect vegetarians and vegans for doing something that I’m not willing to do myself!
I've met people like this. They are real and usually not invited back.
Edit: same to anyone claiming to be allergic to msg! Mfer I just saw you drink a bloody Mary!
In defense of the MSG thing - afaik you can't actually be allergic to it (outside of some super rare conditions, like the ones where youre allergic to things like icewater) but it is a relatively common migraine trigger. Downing it with booze, which for many people helps with migraines (the vasodilator/vasoconstrictor effects sorta cancel eachother out) means it has a minimal effect.
This isn't everyone, obviously migraines are uncommon and ones triggered by MSG are an extension in rarity, but it is explicable behavior in a very real subset of the population.
People with dietary restrictions, often have several. It’s because they they think more about their food.
Sounds like something you'd write on a placard at a protest.
Say no to GMO gluten-free vegans
Seriously I refuse to believe this is isn't a troll. Swapping eggs for bananas in an EGG custard is just baked banana.