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this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2025
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I am not a Bible expert, but every time I've heard people talk about it, they reference an Old Testament story where a man's close female relative (I think his brother's widow or something like that?) tries to seduce him after her husband dies, but then he lets his seed spill to the ground instead of impregnating her, and this displeases God.
The story is obviously about him not fulfilling his familial duties, but modern Christians pretend it's about making sure you only ejaculate when there's a chance of reproducing.
every sperm is sacred
when just one is wasted God gets quite irate
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found
Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood!
Onan is supposed to impregnate Tamar, the widow of his brother. The ancient Hebrews practiced levirate marriage, where if a woman’s husband died before giving her a son, her brother in law was supposed to impregnate her so that she could have some claim to inheritance/not be left destitute.
Onan didn’t want to impregnate her, because he didn’t want to share the inheritance. So he pulled out and was killed for being a shitty person. Trying to get the O but not the responsibility. Absolutely nothing to do with masturbation.
Later, Tamar is supposed to marry the last brother, but Judah, her father-in-law is freaked out about giving her his last son, worried that he is going to end up getting killed somehow too. So he tells Tamar to go back home and wait. Tamar eventually gets sick of this, dresses up as a prostitute and gets Judah to impregnate her.
That tracks after I got caught with a stash of sears catalog rip-outs and my catholic mom guilt-tripped me lol.
Neither of us are religious now so it's kind of funny on hindsight at least.