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:::spoiler example My pooch is not named Rover, Fluffy, Spot or Rex. I wanted something different, so I named my puppy, Sex.

To renew my doggie’s license. I went down to City Hall. “I’d like a license for Sex”, I said. He said, “Wouldn’t we all?” “You must not have understood, I need it for my mutt.” “I really don’t care how she looks, if she’s ugly, fine or what.” “But Sir, I must tell you, I’ve had Sex since I was four!” You are no more than a braggart”, and he showed me out the door.

Newly married, we brought our pet along for the honeymoon. I told the clerk, “A place for us, but for Sex, a special room.” “Every room has a place for sex, each room has a bed.” “But Sex keeps me up at night.” “It keeps me up, too”, he said. At our divorce the court gave all my possessions to the wife I protested, “Please Your Honor, I had Sex before my married life!” The judge then said that he did, too. “It’s not a real big crime” “But Sir, before we tied the knot, I had Sex all the time” The judge said I could still have sex, so I took my hound and ran. My wife then said she’d miss Sex, so I remained a married man.

Last night Sex ran off again as we walked around the block. A cop pulled up and asked if I knew it was three o’clock. I told him that I was looking for Sex and he took me straight to jail. Now I’m waiting for my trial to come and can’t get out on bail.

…if I ever get another dog, I think I’ll name him, “Whoopie” or “Boom-Boom!” Anything but Sex!

what the fuck

he should go on the h3 podcast