this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2025
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I stop my internal nagging pressure to do whatever thing I've been trying to achieve. It seems minor but I just let the natural momentum build back up to where I may or may not want to continue the project.
I have lots of interests that are more passive and ongoing, but my actual physical projects are physically and mentally taxing, plus I have chronic health crap to deal with. It has been challenging to learn how to curb my curiosity just right to avoid taking on a new big project, playing with passive interests, and letting myself have the time needed to get interested in the last project again and try and finish it. It is hard having become a tenth as productive as I once was. I'm still not great at it, but I'm getting better about staying focused on one large overall project at a time. So much of the feelings are entirely driven from within in ways that may only become clear when all external human interaction is removed. That has been my experience.
It’s amazing how quick a ton of small commitments become a big burden. I struggle with lightening my mental load and the truth is it’s sometimes just a conscious decision to say no to yourself.