this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
395 points (95.8% liked)

Greentext

6332 readers
1442 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Isn't the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong's are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.

It's a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I'm sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.

If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won't wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don't care if you look or that you are a slut.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 78 points 4 days ago (5 children)

Does anyone know what this individual is trying to say here?

[–] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Its interesting when its not obvious whether someone is on drugs or just isn't very good at writing clear English. Maybe both? Certainly was a ride!

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 9 points 4 days ago

I'm thinking drugs, there are none of the usual tells that hint at English being a second language.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

But it ain't like riding a bike on the interstate I'll tell ya

[–] ParetoOptimalDev@lemmy.today 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Let bike rider spandex being revealing but necessary act as exposure treatment for your small penis complex?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 11 points 4 days ago

That definitely clears things up.

[–] breakingcups@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Or why (at the time of writing) 14 people apparently upvoted them?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 5 points 4 days ago

Also a very good question.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

This is like interpreting Dickens, let's see if I'm smarter than an English major

Isn't the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong's are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.

They posit that the average penis is around 4 inches long, and that porn tends to employ people with abnormally large penises so they look better on camera.

It's a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I'm sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.

Here it's getting more metaphorical. They poetically compare sex with someone with a large penis to "pounding the cervix like a drum," drawing a contrast against someone with a more standard penis who has to use it more intelligently (a "rocket scientist" in this analogy).

If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won't wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don't care if you look or that you are a slut.

Here they're poetically describing someone who receives anal sex regularly as a "roadie" or a "bicycle," i.e. one who gets "ridden" regularly. They're suggesting that once you've had a variety of penises of varying size inside of you, you'll feel a lot less self conscious about whatever you're packing.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

I saw what you did. Carry on.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Looks like some weird AI slop to me. Markov chain.

[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

you are a slut

but will you treat me like one?

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

take off your pants and find out

[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 4 points 3 days ago

Why would you think they were ever on?

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

because you used a gorilla as a reference, they actually have tiny dicks. so little in fact, that King Kong dick might be in the fuckeable realm

no, you can't unlearn that, I tried

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

I imagine the girth may be an issue with King Kong. 12 inches is manageable, but I have no idea how thick a gorilla's dick is

But also I'm aware of Bad Dragon. No matter its size, there are people who would enjoy it