Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon measures up (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 5 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 78 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Does anyone know what this individual is trying to say here?

[–] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Its interesting when its not obvious whether someone is on drugs or just isn't very good at writing clear English. Maybe both? Certainly was a ride!

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 9 points 5 days ago

I'm thinking drugs, there are none of the usual tells that hint at English being a second language.

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

But it ain't like riding a bike on the interstate I'll tell ya

[–] ParetoOptimalDev@lemmy.today 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Let bike rider spandex being revealing but necessary act as exposure treatment for your small penis complex?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 11 points 5 days ago

That definitely clears things up.

[–] breakingcups@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Or why (at the time of writing) 14 people apparently upvoted them?

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 5 points 5 days ago

Also a very good question.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

This is like interpreting Dickens, let's see if I'm smarter than an English major

Isn't the world average supposed to be like 4 or slightly under at ~100 mm. Donkey Kong's are like wildly mutated freaks. Porn just needs them because a camera is in the way so diagonosexnastics is required.

They posit that the average penis is around 4 inches long, and that porn tends to employ people with abnormally large penises so they look better on camera.

It's a rather dumb plot hole IMO. I never met a drummer rocket scientist type. I'm sure they are out there somewhere, but pounding the cervix like a drum is a boring tune fit for an absentee-alpha brain. If that is what a person is interested in – ehh just consider me tiny to maybe make you feel a little better.

Here it's getting more metaphorical. They poetically compare sex with someone with a large penis to "pounding the cervix like a drum," drawing a contrast against someone with a more standard penis who has to use it more intelligently (a "rocket scientist" in this analogy).

If you feel self conscious, become a roadie (bicycle). Everyone says I won't wear the clothes and we all learn the clothes have a solid purposeful reason to exist. A few years of solid riding and you will not give a fuck about how anyone thinks of your junk. If you want to look, go ahead you dirty slut. I don't care if you look or that you are a slut.

Here they're poetically describing someone who receives anal sex regularly as a "roadie" or a "bicycle," i.e. one who gets "ridden" regularly. They're suggesting that once you've had a variety of penises of varying size inside of you, you'll feel a lot less self conscious about whatever you're packing.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

I saw what you did. Carry on.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Looks like some weird AI slop to me. Markov chain.