this post was submitted on 18 May 2025
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Biden's office announced his illness Sunday afternoon.

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[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 162 points 1 day ago (7 children)

It should have happened to Trump. Not that Biden is a good guy, but it would be nice if Trump died of an ass related illness.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Both of them are going to be on the elevator down when their time comes.

Their only chance is in making something nearly impossible happen so that their destination is frozen over when they get there.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 57 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I'm not convinced Trump is healthy. I bet he has a plethora of health issues but the paid-off doctors aren't releasing the information.

[–] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

He won't ever get cancer or get sick or catch a disease. He will be "poisoned by the radical left" and Maggots will say "they've gone too far" and calls to ban the party from the shithole MAGAs will come out along the words "treason" being thrown out there.

If he goes the fuck away from old age (which is more likely based on how reality works) he will be "assassinated."

No matter how his end will be, there will be calls to prosecute and execute "traitors responsible." If he does become president for life the "traitor" will be coincidentally the candidate on the opposing party. That's if by that point if we even have elections a anymore. He could be geriatric in a fucking wheelchair and they will say this mark my words.

Because they know after trump they will be utterly fucked to legally be elected back to power. (At least I hope)

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

I mean, we know his health report was a sham. The dude reported that Trump only has like 5% body fat. Even the most shredded body builders struggle to hit 5%.

[–] joenforcer@midwest.social 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

That was satire.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 22 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

lol 5% body fat. fucking hilarious.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago

The zero key was broken from putting the payoff checks into Excel

[–] Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee 13 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Can you cite the source for that? Because that claim simply could not have been made without sounding like a goddamn moron.

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 7 points 15 hours ago

It's hard to not sound like a moron when you're an absolute moron

[–] Saleh@feddit.org 14 points 22 hours ago

Even if it was true, too little body fat comes with its own bag of health issues. (Metabolism, cardiovascular, vitamin uptake, brain function...)

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 5 points 15 hours ago

This is so like medieval times where we just are praying that the king dies.

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 10 points 19 hours ago

ass related illness

Now there's a phrasing...

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 29 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Anything is possible. Prostate cancer is far more common than most people realize....there is an easy to remember true statistic -- 80% of all men over 80 have prostate cancer. That's 4 out of 5. It very often tends to be so slow growing that it's simply not an issue, really, you'll have more pressing health concerns that will kill you first.

It's good to check, then once it is identified, either dealt with or monitored with regular frequency.

[–] nelly_man@lemmy.world 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

It has already metastasized in his bones, so it's much more aggressive than most prostate cancers. After metastasizing there, three 5-year survival rate is about 33% with a median survival time of 21 months. But it's also very rare for it to have already spread elsewhere before being caught, so I'm assuming that means that this is even more aggressive than normal and that 21 months would be optimistic. But I'm not a medical professional, so I can't say how valid this assumption is.

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Do you think Trump will just be cheezing. Do you think that the cheeseburger king could keep his mouth shut about it? Or will he just be so tacky? We are such a trashy country. It's so funny and scary.

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 1 points 13 hours ago

Trump has already issued a generic sympathy statement, "Melania and I are saddened to hear about Joe Biden’s recent medical diagnosis. We extend our warmest and best wishes to Jill and the family, and we wish Joe a fast and successful recovery."

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 23 hours ago

yes, but for most of those men it's a cancer they die with, rather than one they die from.

[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

its slow growing from what ive heard, but biden had a aggressive type, which would be different, since aggressive types usually have different mutations and genetics compared to the "slow growing ones". even with something like melanoma, there are more than one type: nodular, subungul,,,,etc. some cancers can be indentified by the type of gene mutations they have thats specific to that cancer

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 1 points 13 hours ago

Understood. Yeah my post was more of a PSA, baking general knowledge into people's brains. Everybody freaks out when they hear the word "cancer", and they should know...prostate cancer in old men is different. But this one is aggressive & mutating & it's metastasized into the bones, etc.

[–] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I know it's possible, but I also get the impression he's going to outlive all of us somehow.

[–] catloaf@lemm.ee 2 points 22 hours ago

It's that pesky top-of-the-line health care he has access to.

[–] andybytes@programming.dev -1 points 15 hours ago

What if I stick my finger up my ass? Can I check it myself? Cause I just can't afford the doctor bill. I heard about the guy that took out his own appendix. I feel like this is a little bit less invasive and a little kinky. What do you think?

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Putting my hopes on infected hemorrhoids

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 0 points 15 hours ago

He probably got a dirty ass.

[–] unphazed@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

With all the ass kissing his cabinet does, he's sure to get something. Probably why he stays away from MTG these days.

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

"Yoav Galant is a pretty good guy."