this also isn't universal. i know plenty of femme peeps who dislike being asked out cold by people they barely know, it makes it feel like they can't just Exist and that interest in them is purely based on physical attraction (because again, they hardly know the person), it feels closer to a boundary cross/sex pesty behavior than starting as friends in a low-to-no pressure way for them. different people are - shocker - different!! i'd also argue it's actually less appropriate in the workplace or in organizing because it gives the impression that the ask-outer is just there for that, and particularly in the latter space femmes really do struggle to feel like they can just exist as serious participants.

also completely out of the question for, say, demisexual people as well, simply not how they're wired.

[–] Boynomoder@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

I actually agree on this point. Just flat asking someone out out of the blue can be just as creepy