I transitioned to male 15 years ago, I was already well into adulthood by that time so had experience to compare. 100% agree with the post. It was night and day. (I'm not in Stem; just generally in life.)

The weirdest thing was some of the individual people who changed how they treat me over time, for the better. After I started transitioning. Its cool they are so trans positive and affirming I guess. But if you can turn that shit on like a tap why not do for everyone?

Now as a man I struggle to notice when I'm getting special treatment. Even with my prior experience. Sometimes I have been oblivious for years until I finally clocked it or it was pointed out by a woman.

It has made me much more respect cis men who manage to have a keen eye on sexism. Especially those who are masc presenting. It is so easy to not notice. It's very comfortable. People are polite. You have good luck. To all the guys commenting here that it doesn't go on around them: it sure as fuck does.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 8 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (6 children)

Sometimes we should just, I dk, listen to what people that have different experiences to us say. I figure, I have no idea what it is like to question my gender, so maybe I should shut the fuck up and listen to what people who do tell me. The problem is, a lot of men do not listen.

Is there one gender friendlier to trans people? Just wondering. I feel like women may be, but that is my bias from my attitude towards men lol.

[–] sureok@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

shut the fuck up and listen

But dont need to turn off your brain. There are plenty of dumb trans people out there and you can find a trans person to represent any position.

Is there one gender friendlier to trans people?

I doubt it. It depends. I mean, women are friendlier, in general. It depends. And trans men are more likely to be "passing" living stealth. So its a different thing. I hardly know what anyone thinks of trans people unless I ask, because 99% of interactions I have are as presumed cis.

One thing I know is that everyone loves men. Cis men, trans men, doesnt matter. People value men. This is why all kinds of anti trans horseshit specifically targets trans women. In the UK recently there was a ruling about the definition of "woman" as it relates to trans women. But no definition of "man". Why! Why are only women subject to such shit. Trans men are implicitly pulled in and adversely affected but women are the ones who have the law about their bodies.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 3 points 14 hours ago

Interesting, cheers mate.

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 0 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

In the UK recently there was a ruling about the definition of "woman" as it relates to trans women. But no definition of "man". Why!

I think that's also largely because it's women who feel vulnerable with men in their 'intimate'/'private' places like bathrooms or sleeping spaces - not so much for men. So questions like, "will the prison rules make this person share a room with me on the basis of their self-identification as a woman" are more of a concern for women than for men.

And of course efforts aimed at elevating women in e.g. STEM. If you have a women's tech group, or a women's gaming group, giving special help to women because their gender puts them at a disadvantage, do you, should you, must you, include trans women? That's going to come up about women not about men. Men's groups of these days tend to be much less relevant.

I agree the ruling should have considered both genders equally though. Actually, does it not? Or was it just the discussion, not the actual ruling, that was all women-focused not men?

[–] sureok@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 36 minutes ago

It is only about trans women. The discussion, the case etc. As usual.

https://www.bbc.com/news/live/cvgq9ejql39t

It came about after the Scottish government included transgender women in quotas to ensure gender balance on public sector boards.

Trans women experience all the opposite of what trans men do. Their status plummets on transition. They experience more violence abuse and harassment than cis men, trans men or cis women. The idea of excluding them from women's stuff is ignorant.

As to people "feeling safe", people "feel unsafe" for lots of reasons. Differences in perceived race, sexual orientation, disabilities so forth. Perceived gender variance is only one reason. Should we segregate sleeping spaces by race?

On the other hand, I guess I can take advantage of these things and these spaces?? I'm assigned female at birth. I'm a biological woman?? Nobody would guess to look at me. And as I've been saying I've had many years of male privilege. But if we're checking documents, well nobody can argue with me if I want to. Nor with the OP.

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