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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 19 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

35 comments fedilink hide all child comments

i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] Alice@beehaw.org 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You don't genuinely like him, you're just lonely. Plus, he doesn't respect you at all, or his previous girlfriend. He won't treat you right, but let's be honest, even if he was the greatest man in the world, you're not actually into him.

It sounds like you're having a really hard time and you just want some tenderness and support, but you won't get it from a misogynist.

Keep him blocked, and take care of yourself.

[–] drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

thanks so much 🫂 gave me the ick a little that he barely acknowledged that i liked girls. he only cared about if i liked guys or had a bf, he only got upset when i liked a guy.

it’s almost as if he was trying to act like i was straight, which was a bit insulting to me. if i had a gf/liked a girl, he would act like that meant i was just single and not attracted to anyone at all.

[–] Alice@beehaw.org 1 points 1 hour ago

Listen to that ick!! That's the part of you that knows your worth

[–] RicoPeru@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

as a bigender person, i identified as transfem as a teen (under 18). i had similar problems online where men would deny my bisexuality because for some reason, it’s gay for me to have a close and intimate friendship with a dude now that i’m more masc, but as a transfem, dating women just means “you’re gal pals”