Trans Megathread for the Week of 10⁄28 to 11⁄3)
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K (189?–?) Soviet pioneer. From Kazan, Tartarstan, USSR, K was diagnosed as a ‘transvestite’ in 1937.
She was given permission by the People’s Court to wear female clothing, her identity papers were changed to her female name, and her name was removed from the military recruitment rolls.
She was featured in a 1957 gynaecology textbook.
M.G. Serdiukov. Sudebnaia ginekologiia I sudebnoi akusherstvo. Moscow: Meditsina 1957: 47-8.
Dan Healey. Homosexual Desire in Revolutionary Russia: The Regulation of Sexual and Gender Dissent. Chicago and London: The University of Chicago Press, 2001: fig 24.
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Dating apps as a stealth trans girl dating straight guys is dreadful. I've met the people I have through random life circumstance mostly, just being out in life doing things and meeting cool people. And like, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, but I've told A LOT of men, many of whom I didn't know very well, that I am trans after they have shown interest, and while a significant portion of them dropped interest immediately or reacted with shock, I never felt like I was in danger. Especially if this is a guy who seems cool, who's a mutual friend, Is it really worth letting fear control your life this much? I don't know the answer, but I certainly don't live my life that way.
But did you tell them before or after being intimate? I feel like that complicates the situation as I’ve intimate with him (but not had sex)
I think my issue is also breaking stealth to disclose. Most people I meet in my day to day life are people with whom I have mutual friends, so I’d risk outing myself to my friends if I disclose to these men😅
Idk generally I do deal with anxiety so it might be because of that, but maintaining stealth is my number one priority in life. I do often think about whether maintaining stealth is worth having massively reduced dating options😵💫
I've told men I'm trans after being intimate before and if anything that just makes them less likely to lose interest, tho I do admit I absolutely could have just gotten lucky and dodged a bunch of bullets, cuz yeah I know that some men will respond violently.
I really do get wanting to remain stealth. Getting to just live life as a "normal" person for the first time In your entire life is kinda indescribable, and I've definitely had periods of time where I wanted to do only that. There are trade offs tho, as I'm sure you know, and it's up to you to decide if the price is really worth it.
I might consider it, but I’m just scared of his reaction, especially because he knows where I live and we live like 5-10 minutes from each other😭
I hate that it has to be so difficult to be trans😭 There seem to be awful trade-offs both when stealth and non-stealth. Are you fully stealth or out to friends?
Oh im out to all my freinds, I dont need the stress in my life of being stealth arround freinds. And like, all I'll say is, obviously you need to protect yourslef, but dont let fear be the primary motivator in your life. Its not worth it.
It’s quite hard not to😭 I feel like I’d be stressing too if I was out to my friends, like I feel that I’d be missing out on things that would not happen if I was open about being trans, and it’s risky career-wise as I’m in medschool and connections and reputation matter a lot as it’s kind of small community😵💫 idk in any case my goal is to be fully stealth by the age of 25 or I’ll off myself, so I have to minimize all risk😅