this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/derek-chauvin-ex-officer-convicted-murdering-george-floyd-moved-new-pr-rcna167437

Moved to new prison. Here’s hoping he’s moved to a new prison every few months due to round robín stabbings.

Uncritical support for stab happy prisoners

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[–] gueybana@hexbear.net 76 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Holy shit he got stabbed 22 fucking times LMAOOOOOO sicko-jammin

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope they keep using things that are short and dull. Absolutely nothing should be off limits against Chauvin. And I mean nothing.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Breath_Of_The_Snake@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Where do you think the knife was hidden? /joke

It would be a funny bit to have a person hiding a shank up there who fastidiously sterilizes it before every stabbing though.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's essentially how getting shanked in prison works. The shivs aren't very large, so they just stab you in the same spot over an over again. It creates a horrendous wound that ends up looking like getting a chunk of your side scooped out with a rusty melon baller.

This is the second time. He got staged 21 times in 2021.

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] buh@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

it would be poetic if he was stabbed 846 times

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it'd he funnier if they pinned him down and knelt on his neck and spine for 846 minutes.

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

All good options, I just wish it was possible to do them all sicko-wistful

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

Let's make a compromise. We'll do all of them at the same time.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

Good, if he were stabbed 23 times, that would have been stealing valor from Julius Caesar.

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

certified Varg moment

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

sicko-yes

That's so awesome.