this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
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Say hypothetically I've already shot my shot and was shot down, how would I go about getting over this (without rebounding to other people or whatever)?

Edit: Thanks everyone, for all the comments, support, and advice! Majority rules a tie between time and distractions lol. Seriously though thanks y'all

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[โ€“] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Don't know how old you are but I have had to several times and can't think what to say. You just put it behind you and move on. Be proud you stepped up and took your shot and accept the reality that it did not work out. If your a male this is just a fact of life in general. I will tell you that you did the right thing though. I have had friends who would position themselves in the friend zone for years with the thought they would just get to know them and realize how perfect they were or something. Its an aweful situation and I am glad I was able to avoid it as it was common in my peronality type of guy. You may not be a guy but I can really only give a guys perspective.

[โ€“] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Be proud you stepped up and took your shot and accept the reality that it did not work out. If your a male this is just a fact of life in general

??? This isn't a gender thing?

[โ€“] HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com 4 points 4 months ago (3 children)

males of my age generally had to make the move. its possibly different now. I can count on one hand the girls I knew from college and before who asked a guy out first.

[โ€“] n0m4n@lemmy.ml 1 points 4 months ago

My realization, now, was that they did. I was too clueless on picking up cues to realize it.

[โ€“] Mubelotix@jlai.lu 1 points 4 months ago

Same in France among students. Males are expected to make the move

[โ€“] OurToothbrush@lemmy.ml 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I feel like even within the straight paradigm women do a lot to express interest and can still feel "shot down" when those signals aren't reciprocated, outside of also asking guys out

oh yeah. Flirting is totally different. I would say growing up girls flirted more than guys.