uokgerku

So stressed out I can't sleep xwx

Have to find enough money for gas to make it to therapy appointment (or they might charge me the $100 no show/cancelled within 24 hrs fee and cut off my meds lmao), stupid insurance stuff preventing me from getting the CPAP machine I've been waiting 7 months for, eating horrible food or not eating at all, stuck in my horrible horrible room with 30 year old carpet cuz it's better than being around transphobic boomer family I'm stuck living with while they talk about fantastical invading immigrant hordes or stare at me "because they're trying to think of ways to help me" or start yelling at me about finding a job (IM FUCKIGN TRYING)

Been thinking recently about how used to living with little means I've become in the last few years as everything deteriorates. It's cwazy

On the bright side I am now pretty good at fixing things even without tools. I kindaaaa rebuilt my old CPAP's motor and made it run again off of fucking Chapstick as lube and a ball bearing I salvaged out of a computer fan. I'd be using it now if I wasn't concerned it would catch fire, probably while I was asleep and it was blowing air up my nose, if I ran it for more than 15 minutes cuz it got veryyyy veryy warm lol (not exactly factory spec). You should see the horrific solder job I did with a rusty GPU I found and a heat gun that let my boyfriend play The Finals at a good framerate until it broke again hehehe (some power filtering capacitors corroded to nothing but I bridged a previous stage to the output or smth that made the chip stable enough to run)

About to say fuck it and just get up and start grinding on the horrific online "job" (gig work) that pays less and less with each passing year