sp3ctr4l

I mean... the original song's use of that phrase arguably references a woman basically being forced to give bjs to her dealer in order to get drugs she's now addicted to...

All of this is terrible!

Not sure if you intended this, but you can absolutely get what you wrote to work with the timing (and same rhyme sounds/pattern, basically) of the first few lyrics of Guns N Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle', with minor modifications.

Welcome to the Jungle,

where we play dirty games.

Food safety sure costs a lot,

so fuck the FDA.

We are the people who hate fines,

Whatever they may be.

If you got no money, honey,

We got your disease.

etc.

(Wonderful that some of the lyrics don't have to change at all, nor really the chorus, yay internal bleeding.)

King of the Hill aired from '97 to '09.

... There are too many episodes for me to be able to pick out exactly which one this is from, what year it aired in...

But uh, fairly commonplace, reasonably affordable smartwatches, with the kind of functionality described... didn't really become a thing until roughly the mid '10s.

Yes, there were earlier 'smartwatches', or things that could be argued to fall into that definition... but they were extremely niche, quite pricey.

Apple's first smartwatch didn't come out till 2015.

Smartphones, with touchscreens, did not really even exist at a reasonable price point, with significant numbers of people using them untill the latter third or quarter of KotH's seasons.

Like I still remember having some clamshell, phyiscal keyboard 'smartphone' in 08 - 09.

I honestly don't understand how there isn't some kind of Waterworld... either action/fps mmo, ala destiny or warframe... or just some kind of mount and blade type single player game, or even Conan Exiles.

The closest thing I can even think of is Raft - Stranded Deep.

... Its mad max... on the ocean, and is basically postapoc/dieselpunk.

Bang wow zoom, fairly novel game (by modern standards) for a AAA or even AA studio to try.

explodes into orange juice

we need wide zelensky with stout rdb rofl

the ejection port is close to the shooter's face, making ambidextrous weapons nearly impossible

Keltec RDB

Keltec RFB

Springfield Hellion

DesertTech WLVRN

... I probably missed some, but there are many bullpup rifles that are swappable between left sided and right sided ejection ports, and swappable mag release, charging handle, bolt catch, safety selectors... or have some other solution to this problem.

Not exactly nearly impossible.

I would add in as a detriment of bullpups... that their internals are generally more complex, and properly identifying the cause of a failure to fire, and fixing it, while under stress, is often more difficult, and general maintenance tends toward being more time consuming as well.

Also: generally notorious for requiring a lot more foot lbs of force to pull the trigger, and that trigger pull is 'crunchier'.

Boy, you're gonna carry that wait a long time.

I have no idea what a samurai pizza cat is or isn't...

But I do have the indicated reaction to the intro of Gunsmith Cats.

... Sorry, you failed your perception check as well.

As you pull out the 'bomb'...

You are startled to discover it is actually two ramen noodle packs, each of which has slightly torn packaging, out of which a bit of crumbled dehydrated noodle bits leak.

I don't really count as an artist, and I ... guess mid 30s counts as old?

But I am finally in a living situation where I am not harassed by mentally unstable, incompetent narcissists, who seemingly invent a new neurosis that is now also my problem every week.

I finally have solitude, and can interact with people on my own terms, at my own pace, and I've seriously never had better baseline mental health.

I am loving the shit out of being a recluse!