"Your honor, when my client allegedly told the defendant that he would arrive at their home at 6pm on August 9th, break down the front door, then proceed to use the knife entered into evidence as exhibit A to repeatedly stab the defendant in their face and body until the defendant's death, that was merely a vague, generalized, non-actionable assertion of personal optimism."

it's the only time cops go after scabs: when they're taking cop work

Clinton isn't tricking these people into doing what she says. Democrats believe all the same things she does.

difficult to envision a country whose asset I'd less rather be than the United States

I salute comrade Google in their ongoing attempts to ruin every leisure activity until only domestic terrorism is left

Trump is given a six month suspended sentence. Biden pardons Trump to show bipartisanship and renew faith in American institutions. Trump wins and has Biden executed for treason.

Biden is doing everything in his power to ensure that "mass shooter" is the only available career path for US children born without generational wealth.

Thank goodness the US was able to return the Nazis to power in West Germany or the godless communists might have prevented Germany from continuing to exterminate Semitic children all these years later.

Why should I give a shit about Trump's million felony charges when Democrats clearly don't? Every US president in my lifetime has been an unrepentant war criminal, and Trump will never face any material consequences for any crimes he committed as president. If the Democrats seriously believe Trump is an existential threat to American "democracy", it's entirely within their power to disqualify him from running, imprison him for life, or execute him without any input from congress or the courts.

I'm at least glad to see Bernie back to wasting his time proposing modest reforms for the senate to unanimously vote down instead of wasting his time bothesidesing the ethnic cleansing of Palestine.

No he likes Israel so he can’t be antisemitic. That’s how this works now. He’s allowed to favor the expulsion of Jews so long as he favors expelling them to Israel. He’s allowed to believe Jews are an inferior race so long as he rates them higher than Arabs on the racial hierarchy. This is what it means to not be antisemitic in 2023 according to the Israeli state and the ADL. Jews that don’t accept this aren’t real Jews according to the same people.

You mean like a bill requiring you to purchase private dental insurance or pay a fine, right?