martine

I have ADHD and can't seem to actually finish a god damn project, but starting them is easy! So...

Woodworking/carving:

• spoonula that I literally just need to finish sanding
• trinket bowl
• need to bleach and oil a dozen cheese knives I otherwise finished six months ago lol
• espresso tamper
• compost tamper

Sewing:

• a bunch of swaddle blankets for some pregnant friends
• UPF fabric kaftan for the beach
• slipcover for my office chair

"No really my name is Alcatraz! Like the prison island. Dennis is just a nickname. I swear! Also you haven't met my girlfriend because she goes to a different school, I talk to her on AIM."

Nobody should be using pet names or nicknames in their passwords, period.

Fully Loaded Potato is perfection.

I'm losing it at Slow-Mo and Guiller-Mo

May I suggest, for when he is being a menace (I can tell this boy loves to be a menace)

1. MoMoney MoProblems
2. Moby Dick
3. Quoth the Raven, Never Mo

The last pic has big "phone home" vibes 👽

Things I love about this comment:

1. Singing Emmerly and Ivory
2. Emmerly's mlem matching the cat food bag
3. "Staredycat Sister's"
4. The fact that Char Char is a tortoiseshell, because I think they look like orange cats that got stuck in a sooty chimney

Okay but say more about the project

This is Oliver. I mostly call him:

• Little Boyyyyyyy! (Singsong, obviously)
• Beautiful Baby
• Little Baby Man
• Stinky Boy
• Goofy Little Guy
• Crunch Boy (when he's eating)
• Whiny Baby (when he's feeling talkative)

Oh and my partner calls him Ollie.

.

Once they've got you locked down they take off the mask 😭 DARVO

delete facebook hit the gym lawyer up